Some days are a little more frustrating than others. Although most of my days are pleasant and fun, sometimes people can really make me shake my head. Here are some examples:
1) Me: “Excuse me ladies and gentleman, due to the turbulence on this flight I will not be serving hot drinks such as coffee or tea. Your options are fruit juice, Cola, or water.”
First five passengers: “I WANT COFFEE”
Me: “FFF*&(^$$^$^……… No!!!” (Wording has been slightly exaggerated). “Is your coffee so important that you really want to see me burn myself or other passengers?”
2) I love it when I put signs that say, “Do not use,” on the two front seats that face my jump-seat and then English speaking passengers either sit on top of them or hand the signs back to me.
Me: “WTF, why can’t you read the signs and then pick one of the other 20 unoccupied seats???”
3) How about when I am serving drinks from the front passengers to the back and I get a, “DING,” from the passenger in the back signalling me to bring him a coffee.
Me: “Sit the F down and wait your turn like everyone else. What are you, VIP?”
4) Me: “Sorry ladies and gentleman, but due to current weather reports our likelihood of landing in the city of Faizabad is approximately 60%. You have the option of staying here in Kunduz or you can take your chances on the flight and run the risk of returning with us to Kabul.
Passenger: “But I have an important meeting in Faizabad!”
Me: “Oh, my apologies, I didn’t realize how important your meeting was. I guess we’d better land regardless and risk the lives of 20 other passengers!”
5) I love when Americans hold up their garbage as a signal for me to come and pick it up. Sorry Americans, I love most of you!
6) My favourite passengers are the ones that complain about the bad turbulence and then ask me when it is going to stop as if I am responsible for it.
Me: “Sorry, I haven’t developed the skills to predict the future yet”
7) Or how about the passengers that talk through my entire safety demo, where I instruct people to turn off their cellphones, and then answer a call as we are taking off.
Me: “Shut off the damn phone. You’re not the president.”
8) How about the smokers who try to sneak off the plane while we are waiting for new passengers to arrive? Smoking + fuel + airplane full of passengers = hopefully a lot of jail time for you!
Rant = Over. It wasn’t actually a bad day, I swear! I just think it’s funny how many self righteous people exist out there. Good thing I’m no longer a mouse. I may not have spoken as uninhibited as I would have liked to, (Due to liking my job and wanting to keep it) however, I still let them know what’s what 😉